Back when I was nine, I watched the movie Aquamarine repeatedly because, let’s face it, I didn’t have any friends. The characters in the movie became the friends I wished for. However, when my family moved to a new state, I found myself alone, the new kid in town. Sadly, I’ve always carried that lonely tag with me.

From the age of nine to 24, I moved seven times across three states, becoming an expert at starting over. Yet, forming new friendships and maintaining old ones has been tough for me. I find myself envious of those with lifelong best friends or a bunch of bridesmaids, experiences I’ve never had. The friends I’ve made have mostly been school acquaintances, family friends, my partner’s friends, or coworkers, keeping our relationships obligatory or temporary.

Now, I realize that having lasting, close friendships might not be my forte. After years of doubting myself, I’ve learned to value the friends I do have, no matter how we met, how long we’ve known each other, or how close we are.

It’s not as lonely as it may appear. I no longer see myself as “the girl with no friends,” but sometimes I’m still “the girl with no plans.” Coordinating with friends can be tough due to conflicting schedules and life interruptions, leading to the common “let’s catch up soon!” that often goes unheeded. Still, the moments we spend together are truly special, even if they’re infrequent.

If you can relate and need a positive reminder about the perks of having a small friend group, here are some thoughts I’d like to share:

The Benefits of Small Friend Groups

Although having a small friend group can feel isolating, there are numerous advantages, such as stronger bonds, fewer birthdays to remember, and other notable benefits:

Less Drama

Smaller friend groups mean less room for misunderstandings and conflicts. The typical drama found in larger groups is minimized in smaller circles, which is a relief as we grow older. While not without issues, there’s generally less tension compared to bigger groups.

Deeper Connections

While social gatherings often involve shallow conversations with many people, spending time with a few friends allows for deeper, more meaningful discussions where individuals open up, listen attentively, and connect on a profound level. Friendship quality often outweighs quantity.

Additionally, it’s easier to remember essential dates of a few friends, like birthdays and anniversaries, which sets apart a good friend from a great one.

Focus on Self-Care

One of the best parts of being in a small friend group is having ample time for self-care. While I sometimes yearn for dinner plans with a friend, I value the moments I spend alone, engaging in self-care activities like facemasks and online shopping while watching a romantic comedy. This solitary time has allowed me to work on personal growth by exploring new interests, enhancing self-awareness, and pursuing my goals, making me a better friend to those in my circle.


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