Despite the advancements made by women in society, there still exists a lingering societal pressure surrounding marriage. Personally, I waited patiently for over nine years before deciding to get engaged to my partner. Throughout this time, we faced numerous inquiries and judgmental looks due to not conforming to the traditional timeline for marriage.

Nevertheless, I have no regrets about the decision to wait, as it provided valuable insights into myself, my relationship, and our future. In the upcoming sections, I will discuss the reasons behind our extended engagement period, the lessons learned from it, and why postponing our engagement was the best choice for me as a woman.

Reasons for Delaying the Engagement

During my early 20s, I experienced a period of mourning over the loss of my dream to become a professional wrestler after sustaining neck and shoulder injuries in a car accident. The subsequent recovery process and my transition to a writing career consumed all my attention. Marriage was not a priority for either me or my partner during this period.

While we often attributed the delay to external factors, it became clear that the main reason for postponing our engagement was our lack of readiness for marriage. Although we occasionally discussed marriage, we had personal and interpersonal hurdles to overcome and crucial decisions about our future that we had been avoiding.

My partner’s tendency towards an avoidant attachment style presented challenges that he tackled after a significant event led to introspection. Seeing his dedication to personal growth and mindfulness, as well as his unwavering support, strengthened our bond. Likewise, I realized the importance of ending our indecision and addressing our shared desire to have children in the future. This newfound clarity marked a turning point in our relationship as we made concrete plans and felt prepared for marriage.

The decision to marry should be based on personal readiness, not societal expectations.

Lessons Learned from the Wait

External opinions, especially concerning women’s choices, can be limiting. However, I learned the significance of staying true to oneself despite external pressures. While some may view marriage casually, I now appreciate the depth and importance of this commitment. Going through various experiences together during our engagement period equipped us for the challenges of married life.

There is no set timeline for life’s milestones; each person’s journey is unique. Deciding when to marry should be a personal choice based on readiness, not societal standards.

Why Delaying the Engagement Was Empowering

Delaying our engagement allowed me to grow independently during my 20s and develop a strong sense of self. Even as I soon become a wife, marriage will only be a part of my identity, not the whole. I value maintaining my individuality and pursuing my career alongside my marital commitment.

As a woman, societal expectations often push us to prioritize certain aspects of our lives based on fertility timelines. However, delaying marriage enabled me to focus on personal growth and career aspirations before committing to family planning.

Marriage is just one facet of my identity; it will not define me entirely.

Final Reflections

In the end, it comes down to following your heart and embracing life’s journey at your own pace. Choosing personal fulfillment over societal expectations is crucial for finding happiness. By staying true to our decision to delay marriage, my partner and I are confident in the strength of our relationship. Moving forward, we prioritize our time to grow as a couple before considering parenthood, ignoring external pressures dictating our path to success.


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