Truth be told, I’ve never quite warmed up to any of my closest friends’ partners right away. Initially, I struggle to see anyone as good enough for them. I tend to be guarded and make the partners pass my somewhat challenging tests before accepting them. Some pass, and some don’t. This leaves me in a tough spot. What should I do if they don’t measure up to the standards I’ve set? Should I just dislike them but still support their relationship?
After some internal turmoil, I discovered ways to overcome this dilemma. If these solutions don’t work, more options exist to maintain your friendship without jeopardizing your relationship with your friend or their partner.
If You Want to Preserve Your Friendship Despite Disliking Their Partner, Here’s What You Can Do:
1. Identify What You Dislike About Them
Sometimes, you may dislike someone without a valid reason. Their presence could just feel off to you, or you might struggle to see what makes them special to your friend. Disagreements on political views or simply not clicking are not sufficient grounds to hate someone. However, if they exhibit behavior that is concerning such as consistently being late, making you uncomfortable, crossing boundaries, being rude, or displaying signs of manipulation, it’s crucial to address these issues.
2. Communicate Your Concerns with Your BFF
If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, it’s essential to have a candid conversation with your friend. Approach the topic delicately, emphasizing your care for them and your desire to look out for their well-being while respecting their autonomy in decision-making.
3. Find Common Interests
Building common ground can foster a better relationship. Engage in conversations to discover shared interests or hobbies that can bridge the gap between you and your friend’s partner.
4. Acceptance and Letting Go
Ultimately, you cannot control your friend’s choices in relationships. If despite efforts to connect, you still hold negative feelings towards their partner, it may be time to accept the situation and focus on supporting your friend’s happiness.
Strategies to Maintain Your Friendship Despite Disliking Your Best Friend’s Partner:
1. Spend Quality Time Alone with Your BFF
Make an effort to hang out with your friend one-on-one to reinforce the core of your friendship. Remind yourself of the bond you share beyond concerns about their partner.
Set boundaries if your friend frequently includes their partner in plans without considering your preference for alone time.
2. Avoid the “I Told You So” Approach
If your friend seeks advice regarding their relationship, offer support and guidance without gloating about being right. Be a supportive listener and provide counsel without rubbing it in.
3. Only Discuss Their Partner When Prompted
Avoid constantly bringing up your friend’s partner in conversations. Let your friend initiate discussions about their relationship to ensure that you are supportive without becoming a source of discomfort.
